It’s been tough.
I’m trying “distraction” to stay somewhat engaged. By this, I mean that I am acting as if I were going to race in the SHTP 2025. I even started this little thread on their forum.
I’ve been doing bits of boat work and sailing rarely. Most recently, I’ve replaced the boom-end sheaves, and a damaged lifeline, and cleaned the seawater strainer. I’ve ordered parts to service the engine again. Technically I should have the rubber seal for the sail drive replaced fairly soon since it’s on a 7-year cycle and the last change was done in 2017. I think I’m going to stretch this one though.
The biggest blockers for my participation in the SHTP 2025 are:
- Getting my qualifying cruise done: every time I manage to line up 3 days, the weather doesn’t cooperate.
- Getting support at work: they’ll be fine for the way down. But I’m not sure they’ll be happy about the way back. All in all, for me, the best would be to take 6 weeks off.
- Getting myself a liferaft: this one should be easy to sort out as money is all that’s needed here.
- And not the least: being energized. See next …
Like I said, it’s been tough. It’s super unlikely that anyone reads this so I’m going to get personal a bit. The kid left home for college in Paris last September. I moved out of the home to a place in Half Moon Bay. That turned out sour and I’m now in Pacifica, hopefully for the better. My grand plan was that I would find a partner to rebuild my life. But that didn’t work out, not even close. So now I battle loneliness. All friends are essentially my wife’s (well, that’s how it’s turned out). My socialization happens through work (online meetings), soccer games (when I referee), the landlords upstairs, a rare meeting with my wife to discuss the practicalities of the divorce, and that’s it. Not optimal … it grimly highlights my poor social skills, I suppose. And dating is proving to be completely dry.
I wake up, work, eat, work more, exercise or referee a few games, shower, cook, watch TV, sprinkle grocery shopping in there sometimes. On weekends, I call my mom, sometimes I catch my daughter.
The saddest part, I think, is that I feel like my creative juices and energy for living have been sucked out of me. Not completely, but not what it was for sure.
Bleak … I manage and try to enjoy the little things. I mean, f**k, I could have been born in Gaza, Ukraine, afflicted with something. I’m healthy, wealthy. I just need to love myself and life a bit more. WIP …